The New Forty

The fashion and health magazines purport that age sixty is now the new forty. Like so many exciting opportunities presented to women, most of the details are omitted. I’d research them, but the finer print is almost beyond legibleso, I have to rely on pictures and illustrations and LARGER PRINT when I can access it. Thus far, here are some of the more exciting opportunities now that I have crossed over into this next ten year frontier:

  • My natural look now takes an additional forty minutes each week. This includes returning for the mascara that I forgot to apply before I started the car.
  • My new cookbook has an entire section on forty new food combinations that can incorporate more fiber in my diet.
  • Having once memorized the muscles and joints from an artist’s conceptual chart in biology class, I can now confirm that THEY REALLY DO EXIST because they talk to me regularly and we are on a first name basis.
  • Taking a proactive approach, I added forty new acronyms to my email vocabulary; my sole intent was to present myself as an essential team player, a quick student and valuable addition to any manager’s team! Can I do techy? NO problem!

Imagine my disappointment when I realized that LOL doesn’t mean Little Old Lady. Life was much easier to contend with when one only had to know who led forty thieves or where forty acres and a mule came from.  Dear Lord, what I wouldn’t give for an extra forty winks…