Folklore Can Be Such A Drag…

(Knock on the door; woman in apron answers, sees a plain clothes man who flashes his I.D.)

DUM. DA DUM DUM.

How may I help you, Officer?

Good day, Mam’.  Do you know this young man? (Shows black and white photo)

Why yes! That’s my sweet son-in-law!  He is a dear, and

Just the facts, Mam…  You referred to him as “sweet”?

Oh, yes.  He is such a wonderful young man! Such a good

Just the facts, Mam’…if he is your son-in-law, that means you are his

DUM. DA DUM DUM.

Yes, I am his mother-in-law!  … I’m so happy that my daughter found

Just the facts, Mam’…  what did your daughter find?

When, Officer?  I didn’t know she lost anything.  Was it valuable?

Was what valuable, Mam’?

Whatever you are looking for, Officer.  If you’d describe what is lost, perhaps I can

DUM. DA DUM DUM.

Thank you, Mam, no…if you would just tell me the last time you saw

Oh, I don’t saw, Officer.  I let the men do that type of hard work.  But I do cook, and

When was the last time you saw your son-in-law?

OH! (She giggles uncontrollably, then composes herself).  Why, I visited with his little family just last month.  He makes the best espresso, and

Just the facts, Mam’…

DUM. DA DUM DUM.

Yes, Officer.  As I was saying, I was out there and visited with

Yes, Mam’…you were out there and he makes the best espresso.

Oh, you know that, too! Does he add a bit of rice milk in yours?  He does for me.  Did you know he calls me “Mom” and likes me to visit?  We even discuss business stuff, and

(The woman stops talking when she notices the officer is running down the path to his car, so she shouts out to him)

DON’T FORGET, OFFICER…TODAY IS HIS BIRTHDAY!  PLEASE GIVE HIM MY LOVE!  PERHAPS HE’LL MAKE YOU ANOTHER ESPRESSO…

(She turns to go back inside, mumbling under her breath)

My, he certainly was a strange man…I can’t imagine his having anything in common with my sweet son-in-law…

DUM. DA DUM DUM.

(Credits roll)