Daddy didn’t contemplate life before him in rhetorical terms. He might ask the questions, but he’d already accepted the circumstances and decided on his necessary role. His was a tough act to follow; principled, he normally forged ahead with a quiet conviction.
Daddy was extremely loyal to family. In his view, family was his original siblings. Mom understood this loyalty, as she shared the same devotion to those “siblings”; their father was her guardian and she lived with them in her teens until marriage to my father. Familial assumptions of responsibility were theirs to share. As number seven’s daughters, we grew up watching this devotion and love for the older ones, Daddy’s name for the six children born before him.
We were ill prepared to influence him very much to think outside of the box. Devotion had become a hereditary virus of sorts; collected from our common good, we were emotionally spent beyond our capacities often under the mantel of doing the right thing.
Infected like the rest, I did the best I could to do my part; sometimes, it took a toll emotionally and I gladly buried my head in my studies and retired most evenings, totally relieved to shut away the day’s responsibilities.
Daddy’s actions always spoke louder than words. He did the right thing; as hard as it might be on him or us all. Underlying the days’ tasks was the deeper belief and faith that we were doing the best we could; that there was a light at the end of this tunnel and we’d get through it.
Our family provided a home, food, a job and often transportation for a favorite uncle of ours who was an alcoholic. Somehow, Mom and Daddy managed all this at the same time Only Bro was having his ups and downs, phases during which times his mental stability was very fragile. Daddy pursued, working his business around the needs of his customers, his son’s medical needs and his brother-in-law’s binges, covering the bases to provide for the immediate family with Mom’s support from the home front.
The carport was beyond the chimney and had no room left for an actual car anyway. Daddy’s seeds and garden equipment, along with his tool bench and storage cabinets filled up what wall space there was. Our family picnic table sat in the middle, out of the sun and accessible for backyard picnics.
As cars grew in width, one had to be very cautious not to drive in and break any tomato plant branches or roll over the garden hose. The drive might have accommodated two smaller cars, but our father drove a station wagon for business and personal use. So, he rarely used the deepest end of the drive.
We always knew when Daddy had arrived home for the evening; once we felt the rumble, Daddy had hit the chimney; no point in going any further. We raced to the front door and unlocked it. Daddy was home.
What are ya gonna do?
That was Daddy’s summation of his day, as he stood there in the kitchen, pouring his glass of red and grabbing a piece of French bread with a slice of salami before dinner…