(sung to the tune of We Need a Little Christmas with apologies to Auntie Mame and the rest of the family)
Verse One:
Haul out the GARBAGE!
Let the two dogs out past you; leave the DOOR ajar!
Oops! Toast is BURNING…
I should have stayed in bed –OH! Drat.
Where’d I LAST hide the jam?
Chorus:
Oh, who NEEDS this every weekend?
Cyber-What-Day IS this?
Where’s the IN-STORE coupon?
I had it just one second a-go
HELP! Where are my car keys?
Don’t DARE wear your best blue jeans.
Grab your coat – it’s TIME to run!!!
Verse Two:
Kids! Stop your FIGHTING!
I can’t find ONE darn park-ing spot
Even NEAR the store!
Try helping MOMMY
I promise you; we’ll get a drink
JUST as SOON as we can….
Chorus:
Ugh, who NEEDS this every weekend?
Wrap to buy and boxes…
WHAT? You’re OUT of boxes?
Kids! I see a dumpster close by
LOOK! A BOX WITH PEANUTS!
SHOVE your sister over!!!
Breathe in, GOOD Job!! Let’s RUN back home…
Verse Three:
There! Gifts are FINISHED!
We’ve time to dress – YES! You can
Wear your blue jeans now.
Help your lit-tle brother!
I’m putting shadow on, Hon
Can’t even SEE what he’s done…
Final Chorus:
OH. I need a little ASPIRIN!!!
WHAT takes jam off GIFTWRAP?
How long ‘til we get there?
Just sit BACK and watch the snowflakes
OH – WHY CAN’T I FIND IT?
GPS won’t SHUT up…
I need a little aspirin NOW!
